


Happy Hillday

by CatrinaSL



Series: Three Things [43]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adequate Demonstration of the Author's Grasp of Elementary Algebra, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Birthday, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Cosplay, Dum-E - Freeform, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Mistaken Identity, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Three Things, Tony Being Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 23:44:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13305852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatrinaSL/pseuds/CatrinaSL
Summary: It's Hill's birthday, and she's getting the best gift ever. (And no, it's not the cosplay contest.)





	Happy Hillday

**Author's Note:**

> NevermoreBlack requested Cosplay, DUM-E, Mistaken identity.
> 
> Soulmate AU Reminder: Everyone has a Soulmark, a tattoo of the first words their Soulmate will say to them. Showing someone else your Soulmark is like baring your soul to them, so most people only show their Soulmate or very trusted friends.

Maria was not having a good birthday. Someone (Tony) thought it would be funny if everyone dressed up like her to celebrate her birthday. Her assistant didn't look half bad, but the sight of Tony Stark in a wig and a pencil skirt was not really something she could unsee, no matter how much she might want to.

Steve sent her flowers, which she appreciated, and Barton made himself scarce (even though she kept expecting him to poke his head out of the ventilation shaft in her office). Romanoff actually pulled off a pretty good Maria Hill, red hair notwithstanding, and Thor opted for tight S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform!Hill, which showed off the ridges of his muscles (which _no one_ minded seeing). And Doctor Banner wished her a nice day without dressing up or giving her an unnecessary gift. It was possible he wasn’t aware that it was her birthday, but even so, he was nearly the highlight of her day.

Until she found Darcy Lewis knocking things over in Tony's lab.

"Dammit, DUM-E, we've talked about this! A squared plus B squared  _equals_ C squared, not whatever bass-ackwards thing you've got going on here! I can't believe Tony hasn't even programmed you to properly calculate a _hypotenuse_." She sounded disgusted. "No, wait, how would Hill say it?" She cleared her throat and stood a little straighter, then barked, "Stark, get your stupid bots under control!"

Maria found herself stifling a laugh; Lewis was knee deep in bot detritus, and though she had her hair in a reasonable approximation of Hill's updo, she was otherwise dressed in her normal work attire. She’d seen Lewis around the Tower and on staff rosters, but they'd never actually met.

And when Darcy spotted her, Maria finally knew why.

"Oh, hi!” she said brightly, just as Maria had always imagined she would say it. “You look great! Perfect Hill. Sorry if I was bothering you; these things drive me nuts sometimes."

"I... yeah, I feel the same way," Maria told her.

Lewis paused. "Oh my god," she said slowly. "I thought you were... Your assistant. But you're actually..."

"Your Soulmate?" Maria volunteered.

"That too," Darcy agreed. "Uh... happy birthday."

"Thanks," Maria said, smiling more and more as the shock wore off. "I think I've done enough work this morning. Do you wanna ditch the bots and get outta here? I know a quiet place where we can get some lunch."

"I mean," Maria's Soulmate began, "I was all set to dominate the hair division of the lookalike contest, but I guess if we get back in time..."

"I think we can swing that," Maria said with a grin. "I'll even give you a few pointers."

Darcy blasted her with a blinding smile. "Best Soulmate ever."

**Author's Note:**

> [Prompt a Three Things fic!](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf7S2MbkK0CxVHMG3kF8CD6fYqD0zwY-J6MqLb21nmFyRpE4w/viewform)
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/169448126798/happy-hillday)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


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